One of the most difficult things for Christian singles is waiting on the Lord for that special soul mate or the next assignment as a single person. This is especially true as we see our single friends meet the man of their dreams, get married and move on. Loneliness and anxiety starts to creep in as we wonder when or if God will bless us with a mate; the loneliness at times can be daunting, and the desire to find that special someone, to spend our lives with that perfect match, can be overwhelming. Singlehood seems to bear a tag that says “I am not whole,” but there are so many things about being single worth embracing.
If you are single, God is looking to use you now in your singleness, even if he intends to couple you with someone later. Hopefully, in just a few words, I can encourage you to embrace the single life and live a life that honors and glorifies God. The Apostle Paul taught that people should remain single, as he was. He felt that by remaining single, people could be more effective in accomplishing God’s purpose. If God has called you to do things such as travel, missionary work out of the country etc. the obligations of relationships can be distracting. God called very specific people to the single life, and that could very well be you, but you can still live a wonderfully fulfilling life without feeling that there is something wrong or missing.
I, in my singleness, am asked continually, “What is wrong with you that you don’t have a husband?” Quite frankly, I never thought of being single as an illness, but apparently many people feel that way. Not everyone was designed to be in a relationship, and it is important to know what God’s plan is for your life. I believe I will have a wonderful relationship, but there are things God needs me to do in my singlehood until then. It is important to realize that if your lot in life is the single life, that God has a mighty assignment for you. God will give you the grace to embrace your life. It is in the single lifestyle that you can best focus on nurturing your relationship with God.
Even a relationship with God requires time and effort. Every believer was instructed to study the Word of God, by which we will know the heart of God. A heart like God’s, should be the desire of every one of us and by working toward the heart of God, we can tune and fine-tune our lives to be appropriate vessel for carrying and spreading the gospel, even as singles. The question to ask yourself is not whether you are seeking a serious relationship, but have you established a serious relationship filled with joy, happiness and fulfillment with the Lord. God cannot use any of us if we do not also care for our own selves.
Togetherness with someone else isn’t real until you have truly cared for yourself in singleness. I want to encourage you to seek the things of God, search after the things that will empower you to tap into self-discovery and grab a hold of self- improvement, which will propel and challenge you to press on into the purpose and plan God has for your life. Being single should be a time for you to exercise your gifts. Do more, more often, and do it better. If you don’t know what you were gifted to do, personality evaluations are great tools. Identify the things that bring you the greatest joy and satisfaction. Look deep and dig deeper until you are able to make the necessary adjustment to make your God-given gifts a lifestyle that is truly a lifestyle of praise and worship. Learn to be content in your singleness. Do not compare yourself to someone else. What they have and what they are doing is their business. And, unless they are very close friends of yours, you don’t know the half of what is going on with them. What we see on the outside of many relationships, is quite far from the truth and anything desirable.
In John 21, Peter looked at John’s life and wanted what he saw but the Lord told him to take his eyes off of John and follow Him. Get closer to God; focus on the things He would have you focus on for your life. God is not a man that he should lie, or the son of man that he should repent, God said he would supply all of your needs, he promised to take care of you and everything that concerns you now and forever, in your singleness.
Peace to you, be blessed!