Order and Intimacy

How do you feel about keeping things in order? Are you one who has misled yourself to believe that you thrive on chaos? Or, do you genuinely strive to lesson the amount of stress, frustration, and disorder in your world?


The divorce rate in the United States is shamefully high. We [in the States] have often been quoted a rate of 50%, but that is a statistical average. To make it more real, consider that 41% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.  To me those are astounding numbers and suggest a lot of chaos is whirling in and through the lives of these people.

If you are fighting a lot, always frustrated, crying behind closed doors, and are ready to divorce or break up, it’s because things are out of order, not necessarily that he or she is wrong for you. The disorder in your life, your job, your relationship etc., didn’t just show up. It came from somewhere and remains because you keep moving farther and farther away from the things of God.  No matter who you think you are, or how good you think you are at relating, you bring your own set of baggage into every relationship.  Life and relationships should be enjoyable but will be challenging and extremely more the latter when we step off the path of our purpose. There is an order to everything, and there are consequences for going against the natural order of things.  All people, good, bad, saved, and unsaved can step out of line, and if you are experiencing a little chaos in your situation, stop and get yourself in order.

Think about this, when you buy a cd and hear your favorite artist swooning through the speakers, do you ever wish you could sing that good?  Of course you do, we all do. But the truth of the matter is, you could sing like that with a little (or a lot) of training and fine tuning. Unfortunately in the case of relationships and relating, people want the great result without putting in any of the work. People spend so much time insisting that the other is singing off key, never stopping to remember they themselves missed a practice or two. Good, lasting relationships take work; a lot of dedicated, sometimes frustrating work. Consider counseling, or a pre-marital workshop. Look at people with successful friendships and other relationships and find out how they do it. See yourself successful and do what YOU need to do to make it happen.

There are so many  factors contributing to broken strides in life; mismanaged finances, temptation, unforgiveness, apathy, resentment, selfishness…etc. Life was not intended to be lived without the need to re-evaluate, and readjust our own selves.  When you stand on a busy street corner, you hear the noise, the chaos; the haphazard movements of everyday life. But, when you go to the top of a tall building on the same busy street you will be compelled to see and hear things differently.  You most likely will experience calm, a sense of peace and order.  That is your goal – find a way to rise above the chaos and clutter to live in peace. Make every effort to forgive, forget the past, and promote harmony.

The closer you get to the things of God, the more order you will have in your own situations. Your level of intimacy with God will determine your level of intimacy with your partner, and will determine how peaceful your life is and becomes.  Get right with God, so you can get right with life, and get right with each other.

Blessings to you!

Copyright –  Shaunna Jackson

November 20, 2010