The Reason That Person Doesn’t Change…

… is because it is not within your power to change someone’s heart. “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13).  The God who formed us, is the only one who can change us and he does not work according to our schedule of demands.


Many an argument has been waged in futility because we have convinced ourselves that the habits and annoyances of other people are within our control. Certainly there are things we can say or do that may curb or extinguish a certain behavior, but it requires God to search the heart and make the desired changes last. Often times, we see results but they are short-lived because a real change of heart has not occurred. Most often, people do it our way for the purpose of shutting us up, but all of the nagging, and insulting, and put downs will not change a person for good. In fact our words will only serve to harden the heart because we’ve just sparked resentment in the other person and resentment breeds anger… and now the stage is set for more relationship destroyers.

 Many people may truly WANT to change, but find it hard. Again, that is because God is the only one strong enough to turn a hard heart to a heart of flesh. We need to call on the power and might of God to help. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him,(Psalm 91:15). If someone is always on you about a certain behavior, and you want to change, call on God and he will help you. If someone you are close to, someone in whom you desire to see changes, (for example: children or a spouse) understand that constantly badgering them about what irritates or hurts you only causes them to harden their heart. Call on the Lord and he will help you.

 When you stop making it about your own discomfort and take it to the Lord in prayer, you will find peace.  Just because you don’t like something about someone else, doesn’t mean they see it has something wrong, Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts.” (Proverbs 21:2).  All of us are flawed individuals and God will not remove everything from the other person to make us happy. What he will do is change our own hearts to be less selfish, and more accepting.

  It is God’s pleasure to redeem us. He wants to see marriages restored, and children saved. It may take time, but God will answer you. Let God do his job in HIS way in HIS time, “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9    Inasmuch as God has been patient with you, be patient with that person. Pray for them and ask God for the grace to be a source of support and encouragement. Ephesians 4:15 says, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Call him, he will hear you, and he will help you.

May God bless you richly, in Jesus’ name!