“I’m not good enough.” “I’ll never make it,
“She’ll never be interested in me.” “No one will notice me anyway.”
“I’m not qualified.”
Sound familiar? That persistent convincing voice that derails a perfectly good mood and seems more likely than the truth. Day after day we talk ourselves out of going farther, doing better, or rising higher. We set our eyes on something (or someone) and then spend the rest of our days talking ourselves out of that very thing. Relationships don’t happen because we convince ourselves that something about us is too wrong for them. We don’t apply for jobs because we only have 19 of the 20 bullet points. We miss opportunities because of DOUBT.
We are our worst critic, but thankfully, we are not meant to live this life alone. There are people around who will speak life and wellness into us, at least those are the people you ought to have in your circle of influence. Those people will help you see and accept that you ARE capable, and you ARE worthy. You have spent enough time beating yourself up, and believe me, I too am guilty of talking down about and to myself even when I KNOW those things are not true of me. Here are six ways to start speaking well and feeling better about YOU:
- Remember that your thoughts are just thoughts, they can be changed. You would not choose to constantly berate the friend of someone you care about, would you? No, you would speak well of them, or at least say nothing if you can’t say something nice (because that’s what mom and grandma taught us). You are someone whom someone else cares about. Change how you talk about yourself. Tell yourself that you will be OK at that networking event; you will find someone who loves you just the way you are; you are likeable; you will lose the weight… get the job…and you WILL be successful.
- Remind yourself that the past is the past. Whatever mistakes or setbacks you had, that was yesterday, acknowledge them, do what you need to do to right wrongs if you can, and move on. You are not obligated to spend the rest of your life indebted to someone else’s thoughts and opinions. You cannot undo what is done. Leave it alone and move on.
- Talk it out or journal. Bottled up thoughts become toxic distortions or the truth. Simply talking about what’s on your mind, or writing them out can help you see how exaggerated your thinking can be.
- Work on yourself. If you know for certain you are not qualified, take the necessary steps to enhance your skills and level of experience.
- Give yourself a break. You are awesome! You were created for good, and good will come to you. Your mistakes or failures do not define you. Most people will not put that much weight on what you did or said. If they are mature, considerate people they’ll get over it . Don’t spend the rest of your life beating yourself up one moment or season in your life – LET. IT. GO! Learn from where you were, and keep it moving.
- Draw energy from others. Doubt wants to isolate you, so defy it. Connect yourself with people who will empower and encourage you to stay positive and focused.
You ARE good enough!
“Be good, be gracious, and be a blessing to someone today.”