You Are NOT an Old Shoe!

(Overcoming Feelings of Rejection)

Have you ever felt like you who you are, isn’t good enough for anyone? Are you tired of relationships that don’t work and leave you feeling lost and confused? Are you feeling used, and now forgotten…like a dirty, broken shoe?

images We have all been rejected at some point in our lives, and it doesn’t feel good. Sometimes we don’t know why, which feels even worse, but it’s not a death sentence. We don’t qualify for every job, or relationship, or opportunity, that’s the reality of life, and that is why there is so much out there. There is something or someone right for you too.  On the other hand, there are a lot of broken people in the world; a lot of people carrying around past hurts and disappointments using rejection as a way to feel more powerful and be more popular, or get farther ahead etc.  Don’t lose yourself caring about someone who doesn’t mind losing you, or something never meant for you.

Healing can happen if you let it. It doesn’t come the day you decide you want a divorce. It doesn’t come the minute you find out you didn’t get the job. Rejection is one of the worst feelings of the human experience. Over time, fMRI studies have shown that the areas of the brain that become activated when we experience rejection, are the same areas activated when we experience physical pain. This is why rejection hurts our feelings so much. We are actually experiencing pain! [Psychology Today]   Many people don’t move on for a year or two – or more if ever –  after a divorce. Applying to jobs after six rejections letters doesn’t happen the same day. No one wants to be the one the one that wasn’t chosen. No one wants to be the shoe tossed in the corner unnoticed and unwanted. Rejection is not the end of the world, acceptance gives us hope, and a sense of worth.

You are a perfect work of art!  You exist because you have a great purpose. your value was determined by The Creator, not your neighbor, your Ex, or “that group of women” at work or in the church. You were not created to be sport for any man, so make today the day you RISE UP and stop living like an old shoe!   You are not worthless! You are attractive, and useful!

If you continue to tell yourself you’re never going to find the right one for you, you never will. If you are determined to believe that you aren’t qualified for a promotion or a better life, you’ll never be motivated to pursue anything. If you keep saying your whole life feels like one big rejection, you will only feel more rejected. Essentially, you have rejected yourself.

Conversely, if you speak words of life and acceptance to yourself, you will feel capable, empowered, and accepted in spite of the opinions of others.  Not everyone is going to like you, want you, care about you, or appreciate your worth, no matter what you do. That is also part of the human experience.  Some people just don’t like anyone who is not them because they believe they are the epitome of beauty, intelligence, and status. No matter what you do, you will always be less able, less attractive, less worthy, less likeable, less everything. It’s not you – its’ them!  Don’t let their insecurities rob you of the joy meant for you!  Not everyone can see your value, because they are trying so hard to make you see how your life is better because of them. You cannot make someone love you, but you have the power to become someone who can be loved.  You can be the person someone else wants to hire and be around.

Don’t rehearse the hurt.

See it as a new start.

Move on to something new.

Take time to improve yourself and keep it moving.

Not every venture is going to be successful. Not every date is going to lead to a second or third. Learn from your failures, don’t get angry or depressed. Life is hard, and rejection is likely, but your worth is not in the opinions of others. Whatever is meant to be, will be.

Surround yourself with positive people, plan positive experiences, make great memories and live knowing you are strong enough, good enough, smart enough and valuable enough!


Be Good, Be Gracious – Be A Blessing to Someone Today!






Your Value is NOT in Their Opinion

My value is NOT in your opinion of me!
My value is NOT in your opinion of me!

You were not created according to the opinions of others. Therefore, you ought not live by the opinions of others. You were created in the likeness of Christ Jesus. Therefore, you ought to live in the likeness of Christ.  Look at the list below, it is not an all inclusive list of Christ-likeness but it paints a good picture. If you embody these things, the inconvenient notions in the court of public opinion will have no impact on your life. It does not matter who likes you and who chooses to walk away from you. The fact that you exist means you have value, and your purpose is valuable to God.

We were all created by Christ and it is in Him that we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:24-28). And all of Christ’s creations have purpose and everything that has a purpose has value. THAT MEANS YOU! You do not exist for the sake of taking up space. Do not be swayed by those who choose to lower their own value by speaking against you. Do not be discouraged by those who choose not to forgive and let you forget. Even the people close to you will not understand the decisions you make with certainty. Do not stop pursuing greatness because of the ignorance, selfishness, childishness, or worldliness of others.

Christ-likeness is unconditional love and forgiveness; endeavor to embody these. Not everyone is going to understand your purpose; which means they will not see your value. We all choose what we think and feel about others; it is not something we ourselves control in others. People are going to insult you, mock you, harbor unforgiveness toward you, and some will even pray against your progress all while claiming to be a child of God… they are not pursuing victory if they do not desire the same for you. You are not bad, unlovely, unworthy, or without hope simply because someone in anger or spite said so. Some people just choose to believe all people should act, think, and look like them; anything less is rejected. Your value is not in their opinion! Words hurt, but that doesn’t mean they are true. If what you are seeing or hearing is not what God says about you, let it go.

The God kind of love considers all things, appreciates differences, does not jump to conclusions, overlooks offenses and is not quick to give up. We all want to walk away from relationships, and other things, when we no longer see its value. That does not mean there is no value, we are just blinded to it as a result of our own conditions, unmet expectations, hurts, temptations, etc. Unfortunately, that is the reality of the deceitfulness of the heart (Jeremiah 17:9 – The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?) . We cannot force anyone to see or appreciate our value. Only God can reveal that.

Your purpose is found in your passions. Embrace your desires and dreams and you will silence the voices of adversity as you add value to your life.  The world did not create you, and so the world cannot define you.

Characteristics of Christ-likeness:














Be good, be careful, and be a blessing to someone today!